Monday, December 31, 2012

Never Say Fred AKA Freds: A Scholarly Treatise

Great story from the mid-90's.   

By Chris Kostman
So it goes without saying, that, for me, anyone who rides a bike is alright, plain and simple. However, that doesn't mean that I'm blind to behavior that is inappropriate (for ease of comprehension, Fred-like), dangerous and/or damaging to cycling's image in the public eye. Fredish behavior, then, obviously includes such commonplace practices as running stop signs and red lights, riding against traffic, expecting cars to get out of your way, blowing past hikers and horses on the trails, and tossing flatted innnertubes on the side of the road, as if the world is your personal garbage dump.
However, these are just the tip of the Fredish iceberg. Fredism also manifests itself in less publicly damaging ways:
  1. Ceaselessly and vociferously itemizing the weight and cost of your newest titanium parts.
  2. Ignoring other cyclists on the road, riding hi-lessly, wavelessly, and nodlessly by, like some smug, self-righteous snob.
  3. Having a bike and gear worth ten times more than your activity level merits, such as riding at non-competitive events with disc wheels or tri-spokes.
  4. Riding on aero bars while drafting someone.
  5. Mouthing off about how dangerous aerobars are, while you're not even wearing a helmet.
  6. Dropping newcomers to your weekly ride, then never waiting for them to catch up. Worse yet, intentionally ditching a guest at your ride and leaving them lost in the farmlands of Eastern Pennsylvania.
  7. Wearing Oakleys around town, telling the uninitiated that you train with the national team, are a 'Neo-pro,' or plan to ride in the Tour next July.
  8. And finally, spending your spare hours name-calling other cyclists.

Read more: Never Say Fred AKA Freds: A Scholarly Treatise

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